I'm Sorry
by Elusive Panther
Summary: Yes, I understood the risks. I knew the risks of playing the game. I knew the risks of falling in love with Fef's boyfriend. But, then I snapped. I lost it. I lost it all. I screwed everything up, the game, and every bodies lives. It was unbearable. (Basically a fic on Eridan's one sided love. It does have doomed/alternante/god tier Eridan and Feferi. Please no hate. R & R!)


**A/N: Okay, this is SADSTUCK. Or at least supposed to be.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own homestuck**

Yeah, I understood the risks. I knew the risks of playing the game. I knew the risks of chasing after Fef, even though I knew she would never like me back. I also knew the risks of falling in love with her boyfriend. It wasn't like I could control it, but, I just kept loving him more and more, and he hated me to the very end. But, I didn't plan for things to happen like this. I didn't mean to fight him. I didn't mean to hurt him that bad. It was just… so natural, and before I could register anything, he had the intent of killing me. And honestly, I deserved to. I killed her. I killed the girl who was my only friend, and my first childhood crush. But, then I was stupid, and knocked him out. I made him blind.

I was then supposed to get him to like me, not to knock him down, all because of my ignorance. I was supposed to help him back up, but no. I just walked away, thinking I'll apologize next time I see his name online on Trollian, but I didn't know he wouldn't ever be online again. I thought I would be able to see him again, even if he hated me, at least I would be able to see his face. It was my entire fault. All of it. I didn't think by just wandering off, I would die. I didn't see any forecast saying that I was going to die on that day, or the guy I loved would never see anything ever again because of me. I didn't know.

Then again, I didn't know a lot of things. I was ignorant, stupid, and useless. I was blinded by the end goal, that I didn't see reason, and I killed them. I killed Kanaya, who hadn't done anything wrong, and Feferi, who was simply in love, just like me. But, when I died, I thought, that maybe, just maybe, I would reach god tier, and then I would be able to see Sollux. Maybe, Fef would also be god tier and I would be able to apologize for everything. But it didn't work out like that. It never does.

Yes, Fef did ascend god tier, and so did I, but when we found the meteor, I found out that Sollux had died, by helping everyone to the Green Sun. He helped and probably saved everyone's lives, and what did I ever do? Nothing. He was amazing, and I was useless. He did everything I couldn't, because he's just Sollux. And I loved him for that reason.

But, when I had found out he was still alive. I searched and searched, but when I found him, in a rouge dreambubble, things actually started working in my head, and guilt flowed over me all over again. I did that to him, I had thought. I just watched, as Aradia guided him, holding his hand, as he proceeded slowly.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, as I turned to leave. He didn't need to hear from me, he didn't need to be reminded of what I had done. "I'm so sorry."

He was moving forward in life, one step at a time. But I knew I would always look back. I had screwed up the game so many times, and now I was paying the price. I had screwed with so many lives, it was unbearable. A ring came from my pocket, and I pulled out my mini computer.

tA: iits 0k. ii f0rgiive y0u.

I smiled softly. There he went again, doing everything I couldn't. But, either way, no matter how much I wanted to rip his head off sometimes, I loved him, for just the way Sollux was.

**A/N: ok! This is my first EriSol fic, please be nice. I wasn't sure where to take this for quite a while, so, yeah. I based this off of a single page of Homestuck, where I saw Eridan and Feferi in God Tie and Feferi revived Mayor (alternant self, doomed timeline). So, if you do not like the fact of what this story is based off of, then I am sorry. I did not force you to read this. Please no hate reviews or PMs. Thank you.**


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